Prayer, Husbands & Yellow

October 15 - Day 122 
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. -Hebrews 12:1-2

Today marks 4 months since the accident and even though the journey has been long and hard I'm grateful to the Lord for everyday that Dean is with us. His life is a miracle and answer to prayer in every way! We read in our devotional, "Difficulty is actually the atmosphere surrounding a miracle, or a miracle in its initial stage. Yet if it is to be a great miracle, the surrounding condition will be not simply a difficulty but an utter impossibility. And it is the clinging hand of His child that makes a desperate situation a delight to God. It is not until a beautiful kernel of corn is buried and broken in the earth by death that its inner heart sprouts, producing hundreds of other seeds or kernels. And so it has always been, down through the history of plants, people, and all of spiritual life - God uses BROKEN THINGS." Cowman, L.B. (1997) Streams in the Desert. (p.388, 389) Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan 

Since Dean has been eating his meals strictly by mouth as of October 9th, we've been praying together before each meal. Prayer has always been an important part of our relationship as we gave thanks to the Lord for every meal whether we were home or at restaurants. After we were married, Dean realized I wouldn't stop talking or go to sleep until we prayed together. I loved reflecting upon the day and dreaming about our future with him. It was more fun than going to summer camp when I was child. I asked Dean to pray on Saturday before lunch so I held his hand and closed my eyes. I began hearing him say thank you and mumble through some phrases. I didn't understand what he was saying but at the end I heard him clearly say, "Jesus name, Amen!" He prayed Sunday evening and today for lunch I asked him if he wanted to pray and he said, "I'll pray." Immediately, he gave thanks to God. God understands him perfectly and I tell him to be patient with me as I'm trying to understand. He still has a very soft tone when speaking and it takes a lot of effort to hear him. However, he likes to be loud when he yawns or sighs and it is so good to hear his vocal chords vibrating!

I've been asking Dean what his name is and he will say "Dean Shenberger." A few times he will just spell out his first name to me. He spells entirely on his own. Sunday morning he was spelling his brother's names after I asked him to tell me their names. We've been practicing names, where he lives, works, etc. He continues to say the ABC's and counts with me. I find that he talks the most when he is in bed. I'll ask him when we were married, about our honeymoon and memories together. He doesn't respond much to these questions. I've heard him say my name a few times when I ask but it's not consistent. I'll go through a list of female names and throw my name in the mix while asking him, " Who is your wife?" He will say, "no" to all the names including mine. Then I'll say "Who is your wife?" and he will respond with "you." Today I asked him "Who is my husband?" and he went through a list of his brother's names. I kept saying, "No, that's not my husband." He kept saying one brother in particular. We go back and forth with questions and answers. I finally said, "You are my husband." He quickly said, "What a deal!" I heard him say this so plainly that I couldn't help but chuckle at his witty response. I asked the same question again and he said, "I don't know". I said, "You are my husband." Dean's response was, "oh" as though he was content with the idea. I'm working with his short-term and long-term memory and trying to figure out where his memory starts and how I can help through this foggy time. He always had a better memory than me when it came to the facts. I am asking and believing God will restore all his memory and in the process we will make new memories together. 

The therapist walked into our room shortly after Dean made me chuckle and we discussed whether he can see or how much he sees. Dean listens to everything even if I whisper! Lately I've been praying with Dean that God would restore his vision so that he could see every color in the rainbow and the ability to see what God sees with a heart full of compassion. She brought a large yellow balloon and held it about 12 inches in front of his left eye and asked him, "What shapes is this or What is this?" No response. She moved it in front of his right eye and told him to look towards me. She asked what shape it was again. He responded with one word, "YELLOW." He said yellow perfectly clear. I've haven't practiced colors with him yet and was completely amazed that he said the correct color. We never mentioned the color of the balloon in front of him. I'll ask him if he can see me and he says, "no or not really." However, his eyes seem to focus together when looking at something. I asked him what color my eyes are and he said, "gray." I believe his vision is slowly coming, please continue to pray for complete restoration that he will once more see God's beautiful creation.

In the evening, his Mom brought two fragrant roses from her garden for Dean to smell. He's been blowing his nose for the past week when I hold a tissue and ask him. He will also take a deep breath when asked to. His Mom held the rose up to his nose and he took a deep breath in. We told him it was a rose but he gave no response. I told him his Dad would be coming soon and bringing a milkshake for him. As soon as he heard his Dad's voice, he said, "Hi Dad." Dean has been greeting his Dad since last Monday and even says, "Bye or See ya." He's also been greeting therapist, staff, and nurses; everyone is growing fond of him. He drank his first chocolate milkshake from Dairy Queen tonight! I crawled into bed with him after putting some new scented lotion on my hands that someone gave me. I placed my hand under his nose and asked him to smell it. I asked him, "Do you like it?" Once again he gave a witty response and said, "kinda weird." The Lord is doing great things in Dean's life! Please pray for patience as I've seen a rays of light shining into this dark tunnel. I want to step on the pedal and watch the rising sun from the mountain once again with Dean.

Dean is always a gentleman, even on our wedding day, he was holding my flowers with a smile!

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