July 26 - Day 42

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me. -Psalm 31:1-3  I cry unto the Lord this psalm of David on behalf of my husband as his wife. Marriage between a man and woman is a sacred relationship designed by God and the union that take place is beautiful. There is a part of me that is laying in the bed with Dean and there is a part of Dean that is sitting in the room with me. As we read in Ephesians 5:31- 32, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Our marriage is only a reflection of the beauty of Christ and His bride. 

We haven't had the blessing of children yet but Dean is giving me the experience of a young mother leaping out of bed to run to his side as he coughs through the night. I try to get to him quick enough to suction the mucus before it slides back down his trach or clean it out of his trach collar. This morning I thought I was dreaming about doing this when in fact I actually got up, suctioned him, and went back to sleep. My days and nights are running together but time is defined by the precious memories and moments God gives us to share. 

Dean is about the same as yesterday with his fever and breathing treatments. The bacteria growth in his lungs is called klebsiella which is being treated with an antibiotic. Today his secretions have been more bloody due to agitation when he is suctioned with a longer tube. Dean opens his right eye about half way; he seems to be respond more to our voices by opening his eye. Around noon, Dean had his second EEG test which measures his brain waves; we will wait for the results tomorrow. After his test, I came back and held his hand and he gave me a little grin. He smiled three times at me today while keeping his right eye open. The speech therapist said Dean's name loudly and he opened his right eye for the first time in response to an unfamiliar voice. He squinted his eye in response to her finger coming close to his eye. He doesn't track objects with his eye yet but when she made a loud clicking sound near his right ear he moved his eye towards the sound. When she applied pressure to his nail beds he responded with his left hand and both feet by moving away from the pressure. She placed a wet cloth on his face and he slowly pulled it off with his right hand after we placed his hand close to his chin. He did really well even though he had pneumonia. When you have a sickness it takes extra energy to participate in activities. After we were married, I shared a box filled with letters I had written and cards  for the man I would someday marry and Dean chuckled with amazement as we read them together. The Lord answered all my desires the day I met Dean even as specific as his big strong hands! Dean was my dream come true! I've been a little cautious of holding Dean's right hand since he has an IV on the top of his hand and his oxygen lead on his index finger which can be easily skewed if bumped. But Dean being the loving husband he is held my hand with his right hand tonight. I placed his brace on his left hand because he still curls his wrist and draws his hand into a fist. I long to wrap my arms around him and stand by his side gazing upwards into his brown eyes. This evening he sat in his chair for about three hours. He has a high fever again tonight. We continue to ask the Lord for Dean's healing and for Him to show us compassion!

Here are the words of another song we chose for our wedding:

How Beautiful by Twila Paris

How beautiful the hands that served
The wine and the bread and the sons of the earth
How beautiful the feet that walked
The long dusty roads and the hill to the cross

How beautiful, how beautiful
How beautiful is the body of Christ

How beautiful the heart that bled
That took all my sin and bore it instead
How beautiful the tender eyes
That chose to forgive and never despise

How beautiful, how beautiful
How beautiful is the body of Christ

And as He laid down His life
We offer this sacrifice
That we will live just as he died
Willing to pay the price
Willing to pay the price

How beautiful the radiant bride
Who waits for her groom with His light in her eyes
How beautiful when humble hearts give
The fruit of pure lives so that others may live

How beautiful, how beautiful
How beautiful is the body of Christ

How beautiful the feet that bring
The sound of good news and the love of the King
How beautiful the hands that serve
The wine and the bread and the sons of the earth

How beautiful, how beautiful
How beautiful is the body of Christ



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